Setbacks and Temptations

Current Weight: 212 lbs.   Weight Lost: 27 lbs.  Left to Lose: 72 lbs.

I have gained a little and stalled out the past couple of weeks.  I have been told that is normal but it is frustrating none the less.

I have not been sleeping well and I have been feeling down.  This hot dry summer has induced a nasty fibromyalgia flare which affects my sleeping.  My fatigue and dysthymia affect cravings and my sugar cravings came roaring back with a vengeance the past few weeks.

There was a lot of sugar in my life this past weekend.  Five, yes, five birthday parties!  Lot's of yummy food and sweets galore.  My will-power flat-lined.   So, time to rally and get back on track!   With the exception of my own birthday dinner this weekend, cake is being banished for a while.

On the positive side of this, I spent time with my dearest friends at these parties including this cute little fellow who turned 1 year old.  Isn't he handsome!  And isn't that what these joyous events are for? Celebrating a milestone and being with people we love; cake isn't the important part.  (But damn, was it tasty!)

Finding What Works

 Current Weight:  211 lbs.  Weight Lost: 28 lbs.  Weight left to lose: 71 lbs.

I read an article that got me thinking about the variation in the human metabolism. The author of the article had to combine exercise with a total elimination of sugar and wheat to see weight loss results.  Obviously I have done a lot of thinking about what works for me and what doesn't.  What I've discovered through the course of my adult life is that exercise is key for my success.  I've also found that sugar, white flour, and processed foods hinder my success but only if they are a regular part of my diet. I can enjoy products with sugar and white flour in moderation as long as I keep up the exercise.  I suppose that is norm for the most people.  I know through a lifetime of experience that my metabolism grinds to a halt when I become sedentary.  So, my bike and walking shoes will become my BFF's.  But I'm at the point where I enjoy their company.

Fat Hatred

Current Weight 218 lbs.  Weight Lost: 21 lbs.   Weight left to lose: 81 lbs.

I've been keeping up with a Salon.com series called Body Wars.  Here are some comments from one of the articles:

 "Fat people have a problem with portion control. They will just misuse this information and get fatter."

"Some people think disgusting fatness is beautiful. Mostly other disgusting fat people."

"Even the most hardcore anorexic is healthier than a fatty. They'll live longer, look better and get dates. Nobody likes fatties and they all die of heartattacks and only date other fatties. That are fact."

So these individuals think that fat people are: gross, ugly, unloveable, and lack self-control.  Did it occur to them that other people might think that they are stupid assholes? 

I also watched a show a few months back in which one of the hosts took a jab at the singer Adele, someone I happen to think is gorgeous.  The hosts of the show were self-indentified nerds and one of them insinuated that because Adele is heavy, she would be desperate enough to have sex with any of one of them.  So not only did he insult large women and Adele in particular, he also insulted nerds by implying that only desperate people will have sex with them.  As a plus-size nerd, I find that doubly offensive.

It occurred me how idiotic these people sound but this stuff still cuts deep.  Why?  They obviously have issues with their intellectual capacity so why would anyone care what they think of fat people?  I guess I don't know but I can say that these comments are based on plain old fear and ignorance, which humans have in abundance.

I do know that these people aren't the reason I'm on this journey.  If someone tries to lose weight to placate haters and please other people, they are setting themselves up for failure.  I did that once and I failed.  I have a husband and friends and family who love me for all of the things I am regardless of my size.  I want to bask in the light of that love for as long as I possibly can.  And that is why I'm doing this.

I Want to Ride My Bicycle!

I have re-discovered the joy of riding a bike the way kids ride. Not for the purpose of being more eco-friendly (though I do love this aspect) or turning into a RAGBRAI participant; Just coasting along on a nice trail with the breeze in my face!  I have a perfect hybrid city bike for this and it has been pulled out of storage after a much too long hiatus.  At some point I hope to get more comfortable with city riding and use my car less, but in the meantime, we are getting reacquainted.  Isn't she pretty?

A Love of Food

Current Weight: 226.8 lbs.   Weight Lost: 12.2 lbs.       Weight left to lose: 86.8 lbs.

I love cooking and baking. I love cooking for people. I love restaurants.  I love FOOD.   I once thought that permanent weight-loss and this love of food were incompatible.  But the food isn't the enemy.  Doughnuts are not inherently evil.  My lack of control is what I have to vanquish.  I am certainly an emotional eater.  My exercise regimen has helped keep me in check when I have gone off the rails. 

I hate the word "foodie" but for lack of a better term I guess that is what I would be called.  Being a foodie who can lose almost 100 pounds and not be miserable the whole time will be a major coup.  Learning to cook basic but wholesome meals will always help with weight related issues because we become less reliant on processed convenience foods, fast-food, and take-out.   And that has other benefits because home-cooked whole food meals are more nutritious and if done right, much cheaper. 

Now, how can I maintain this love of food, keep cooking good meals and curb my emotional eating at the same time?  That will be the true long-term challenge.  That task will require a lot of introspection.

I hope you had a good holiday dear readers.  Happy and healthy eating to all of you.